Lynda Milito, Mafia Wife
Book Reviews

Publisher's Note:
MAFIA WIFE: My Story of Love, Murder, and Madness
Lynda Milito with Reg Potterton
HarperCollins
Autobiography/True Crime
ISBN: 0066212618

Louie Milito was a member of the Gambino family, a "goodfella," a "made guy," "a friend of ours" who disappeared one night in 1988. He was murdered, it turned out, as part of a power play by family underboss Sammy "The Bull" Gravano, Milito's childhood friend. Milito left behind a fractured, badly damaged family who, to this day, continue to feel the effect of living in the wake of his violent, unpredictable life and his sudden, violent death.

MAFIA WIFE is the brutally honest story of Milito's widow, Lynda. Her story reads like a hybrid of the movies Goodfellas and Witness to the Mob, as well as the television show The Sopranos. Indeed, Lynda herself indicates that Witness to the Mob was based, in part, on her life with Louie, and that there is a creative connection between that film and The Sopranos. There are certainly elements of her life in all three works: a nice Jewish girl meets an Italian bad boy who is connected. She marries for love, but it is love inexorably linked with a desire to escape a home life that is cold and unloving. The qualities that attract her to him --- his confidence, his attentiveness, his strength of personality, and yes, his brutality --- are ultimately the very things that repel her when she is the target of their extremes.

Lynda is quite honest and forthright about the conflicting emotions she experienced, and lived with, while married to Louie Milito. While she was damaged emotionally well before she met Louie, his physical and emotional abuse, combined with his mood swings and chosen occupation, rendered her an emotional wreck. Yet she stayed with him, in part out of duty to her children and husband, in part due to the material wealth he accumulated secondary to his criminal enterprises. Lynda acknowledges in the Epilogue to MAFIA WIFE that she has continued to experience emotional problems --- she tacitly acknowledges that her penchant for becoming enmeshed in destructive relationships continues to this day --- but she continues to struggle to overcome her problems and, failing that, to deal with them.

MAFIA WIFE is fascinating on a number of levels. It reads like a long, rambling conversation that frequently trails off onto tangents but that you would nonetheless stay up all night to listen to --- or, in this case, to read. This technique, which I believe is natural and unintentional, makes MAFIA WIFE all the more interesting to read. While this is an extremely interesting tale, it is anything but uplifting. The reality of these people, living outside of the law, is closer to Reservoir Dogs than to The Sopranos. The life that Louie Milito chose for himself, and for his family, will undoubtedly have repercussions for generations. This, ultimately, is the lesson to be learned from MAFIA WIFE.

   --- Reviewed by Joe Hartlaub
© Copyright 1996-2005, Bookreporter.com. All rights reserved.

The spellbinding, explosive memoir by Lynda Milito,
wife of Louie Milito,
a capo in New York's most powerful and notorious Mafia family,
the Gambinos.
 

In the 1950s and '60s, Louie Milito came of age with the Junior Rampers, a tough-minded gang from his Brooklyn neighborhood. Eventually, Louie graduated to more prominent ranks, becoming a made member of the Gambinos, a capo, and architect for some of the infamous family's most bloody work. Louie was also a trusted friend and colleague to family underboss Sammy "the Bull" Gravano. Since their teenage years running the streets of Brooklyn through their reign in the inner circle of the Gambinos, Louie had no doubt that Gravano and family boss John Gotti would forever watch his back. But in 1988, Louie Milito disappeared. His body has never been found. Louie's wife, Lynda Milito, discovered that Louie was killed by the very people who were supposed to protect him.

Mafia Wife is the story of Lynda's and Louie's life. Lynda shares an unforgettable, intimate portrayal of living inside the dangerous world of the Mafia. In this fascinating personal drama about coming of age and being married to the mob, Lynda recounts her lonely childhood, aching to find a comfort that would counter her loveless relationship with her mother. She confesses to being attracted to the danger and headiness of being with a powerful man, and explores the searing pain of child molestation and spousal abuse, life-threatening bouts with mental illness, and strained relationships with her children.

Mafia Wife is Lynda's frighteningly illuminating story of the myths of the Mafia. The Mafia, she contends, is not about The Godfather-esque ideals of honor and loyalty. Gambino and Gotti were not that romantic. Mafia life is about money. It's also about betrayal and love -- and watching your back. In exposing the unadulterated truth about the mob, Lynda divulges what details she knows about Louie's criminal enterprises and the blind eye she turned, year after year, to the blood on his hands. It was only after his death, and twenty-two years of marriage, that Lynda Milito is finally talking.

Mafia Wife is a true Sopranos-like portrait of a life most of us cannot imagine: the story of a woman who lived outside the law and whose worst fears were realized when her husband was murdered and his body never found. In an extraordinarily brave voice, Lynda illuminates the horror her family went through, seeing what her husband and children's father was capable of, trying to comfort him when he knew he was in over his head, enduring his stays in prison, seeing his "friends" take stands (both in and out of court) about why and how Louie was murdered, having to relocate to another state, being questioned by the FBI, and trying, after all this, to find a small peace.
Mafia Wife is a blindingly honest survival story and love story. Milito presents an astonishing and groundbreaking perspective on the world of the Mafia, depicting with uncommon lucidity the merciless heritage of true love wed to true crime.

FROM THE CRITICS
 

Publishers Weekly

The seamy world of the Gambino crime family first took book form thanks to notorious turncoat Salvatore "Sammy the Bull" Gravano, who told his story to Peter Maas for the 1997 Underboss. Linda Milito, the long-suffering wife of Sammy's partner Louie Milito (murdered in 1988 under Sammy's orders, Linda maintains, though Sammy "told the feds it was John Gotti's idea"), now tells her own tale of the mob life, as seen from the home front. Hers is not a glamorous account: she documents her husband's rise from a petty crook who robbed pay phones to a "straightened out" tough who became a captain with the Gambinos. The grinding monotony and terrible strife of her existence-struggling to make money legitimately while her husband languished in jail, trying to protect her son from bullies, coping with terrible physical abuse-is chilling. The image-conscious "wiseguys" that formed her social circle (and who are rather hilariously obsessed with The Godfather) become pitiable figures, trapped in a cycle of murder and deceit. On the whole, Milito manages to tell her story unflinchingly, without sounding self-pitying, even as she details her mental illness and her current abusive relationship. Collaborator Potterton does an excellent job of keeping the narrative running smoothly, organizing the tangle of names and connections, and maintaining Milito's honest and streetwise Brooklyn voice. 8 pages of photos not seen by PW. (May) Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.
 

Library Journal

Milito was married to Louie Milito, a "made" member of the Gambino organized crime family, for over 22 years. In this memoir, she recounts her story from childhood to the present, focusing on the years she spent as a "Mafia wife." This is not your typical "tell-all" organized crime story, as Milito was kept in the dark about many of her husband's activities. She has her suspicions, however, which she shares with the reader. Milito effectively re-creates the emotional roller-coaster ride caused by her husband's lifestyle and details her efforts to raise two children and have a career in as close to a normal way as possible. Her story continues even after Louie Milito goes missing and is eventually determined to have been murdered (although no body is ever found). This book reads a lot more like a novel, and it doesn't add anything original to our knowledge of Mafia culture. That Milito was so in the dark about her husband's activities is initially surprising, but given her later diagnosis of mental illness, one can see this intense denial as one of the side effects of her illness. Recommended for public libraries where Mafia-related true crime is popular.-Sarah Jent, University of Louisville Lib. Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.
 

From Booklist

In 1988, the author's husband of 23 years, Louie, vanished. Several years later, two men confessed to being responsible for his murder (although the body has never been found). Now, the dead man's widow tells her story, about her life with and without her husband. Sounds like a typical heartrending story, but here's the twist: Louie Milito was a "made man," a member of the Gambino organized-crime family; the men who confessed to having him rubbed out were John Gotti, the Gambino family boss, and his right-hand man, Sammy Gravano. Milito and her coauthor lay it all out for us: the rituals and the structure of a Mob family as well as the excitement, the danger, and the loyalty at gunpoint. Milito's hatred of Gravano, whom she calls a "weasel" and holds directly responsible for her husband's murder, is a palpable presence on every page. Like Peter Maas' Underboss, or Nicholas Pileggi's Wiseguy, this expose offers an often-shocking glimpse inside the world of organized crime. David Pitt

Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

CUSTOMER REVIEWS

Number of Reviews: 4    Average Rating:

Write your own online review! at Barnsandnoble.com or
please Email us at book@MafiaWifeLive.com Your Book Reviews of Mafia Wife

Monica C, A reviewer, May 14, 2004,

Love within the Mafia

I loved reading this book. For once it states a women's perspective on how her emotions were while her husband was committing criminal actions, it discusses more heartache in the home then opposed to the glamorous life of the Mafia which is portrayed in the movies . Lynda does a great job of explaining in her autobiography her love for her husband and how their lives were corrupted within the Mafia.

KJ, former South Florida resident..., September 2, 2003,

A Women's Perspective

I found this book very interesting and highly recommend it to anyone that is interested in the organized crime 'life'. I wish Lynda and her children only the best.

A reviewer, August 14, 2003,

Mafia Wife - Great Book!!

I loved it from the moment that I started to read it. I just couldn't put it down. Unlike all the other books on organized crime, you get to hear the wife's side of the story and understand what she went through. I thought is was a very sad story, but it was very interesting and well written.

Nikki, Juvenile Detention Officer, July 21, 2003,

A different look at married life.

This was a great book, you really got a feel of how life was through Lynda's words. Very interesting and sad story. This is not your typical Mafia story of blood and guts. Mafia Wife is the perfect title for this book that you can't put down.

Review © 2005 by Tanya S. Hodges for curledup.com.

Mafia Wife is a raw, insightful, tough, magnetic book about choices – good and bad. Lynda Milito, with help from Reg Potterton, pours out her heart, soul, fears, and regrets in black and white. She invites us into the dark world of organized crime, introducing notorious men like Paul Castellano, Sammy “the Bull” Gravano, and John Gotti. She shatters illusions and delusions; through depictions of crime, violence, and betrayal, Milito reveals a lifestyle devoid of glamour and fulfillment. In an environment where women and children receive less loyalty and respect than men, Milito revisits her years married to a “made man.” She paints the portrait of a man who was vicious and abusive, yet kind and generous. This was a man who experienced peace when he hunted, but deprived Lynda of peace the years he was in her life – and even after he disappeared.

With the turn of every page, we constantly ask "Why? How?" And "Why?" some more. We seek a silver lining in her book – the happily-ever-after ending. But this is a recollection of cold reality, not a fairy tale. And the only silver anything we notice is a dress her mother-in-law once made for her. The miracle is the fact that she managed to survive through such unimaginable hardships. Rich and organic, Mafia Wife is a testimony worthy of attention.

By the time Lynda Lustig meets Louie Milito, life has been no bed of roses for her. She is a sixteen-year-old high school dropout who has suffered through polio, two rapes, and a tyrannical mother. Desperate for love, attention, and freedom, Lynda is vulnerable. So the night she meets a young hairdresser named Louie Milito in a club, she has not developed the kind of self-esteem that helps some people make good choices.

Louie showers Lynda with attention. He listens to her. They dance and laugh. Lynda is hooked. She thinks she has found her knight-in-shining-armor – and a way out of her mother’s house. Lynda is halfway right. Louie becomes her ticket to a place of her own. But her prince quickly squashes any fantasy she has about him otherwise. He reveals he is a petty thief. In order to be accepted, Lynda becomes a willing accomplice to some of his illegal undertakings. It is one evening, while she helps him change the mileage on auto titles, that he first strikes her. Instead of severing ties with Louie, Lynda stays with him, thinking things will get better.

But they don’t.

When they marry two years later, Louie has been arrested at least twice and has served jail time. He has committed a felony with Sammy Gravano while receiving favors from members of organized crime. Lynda learns later that Louie was doing this – and more – as a way to prepare himself to becoming a “made man” with the mafia.

In 1977, a girlfriend informs Lynda that Louie finally got “straightened out” - taken the oath with the Gambinos. This news only adds to Lynda's stress. At home she suffers, but she tries to make life pleasant for her and Louie’s two children, Louis and Deena, as much as she can. She is especially thrilled when Louie plays the role of the doting father. But his mental, emotional, and physical abuse is too much for her to handle some days. On several occasions, she attempts suicide.

This pattern continues for years. In between the chaos, the Militos manage to prosper somewhat. They earn enough money to send their children to good schools and buy property. Lynda even becomes a successful real estate agent. However, she longs to escape from under the dark cloud being connected to the Mafia has produced in her life. To compound he misery, Sammy Gravano becomes a constant figure in her family’s life around the 1980s.

From the beginning, Lynda has her suspicions about his loyalty to her husband. She also notices that more and more people tend to die when he is present. In fact, after Paul Castellano is killed, Sammy and John Gotti move right to the top of the Gambino family. When Louie disappears on March 8, 1988, there is no doubt in Lynda’s mind that Sammy killed her husband. She looks for support from friends and associates only to be given cold shoulders. Louie had always told her if anything happened to him, she and the children would be taken care of.

How wrong he was.

Years have passed since Lynda was the wife of a mobster. She has evolved into a hard woman who no longer believes in fairy tales. Through therapy, she tries to come to terms with her past trials and tribulations. Lynda Milito now lives in Florida – far away from the streets where a guy from Coney Island once danced his way into her world, giving her the story of her life.

© 2005 by Tanya S. Hodges for curledup.com.

One Name Left.net Website
 Comments from People who Read the Book Mafia Wife

I have just read the book and I think the main message is that even monsters such as Louie Milito are complex and have many sides. The ability to love, hate, kill, be a family man, hit his wife, love animals etc....

I didn't believe that Lynda Milito was trying to portray a 'poor me' image in the book, she was just trying to make sense of what had happened to her in a very candid way. She admits her own faults and also those of her husband. I'm sure that she is a conflicted woman and will be for the rest of her life. I'm also sure that she may even contradict herself sometimes in interviews (Rob!) But the book itself is still valuable even though it is a subjective account of the way she saw things. Unfortunately, subjective accounts are all we really have these days about things like the mob because who really knows the truth. Lynda Milito simply had her go at telling her part of this subjective puzzle and admits to not knowing the 'whole story' anyway because she simply didn't see it all - as a wife of one of the guys.

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I am currently reading this book, and Louie was a member of the Gambino crime Family. I think its not a poor me thing. She had a hard life before Louie raped by her female cousin, and then later raped again. OK so Louie, as she admits was a murderer and full on into crime and yes she helped him. She also wanted him to change sometimes when you care for someone you dony give trying and hoping for a better life. I haven't seen an interview, but I am sure he wasnt the only made man that told his wife if she left him it would be in a box! I also have to agree with Jennifer.

Posted by: Kathy at February 8, 2004 03:08 AM
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I picked up the book while traveling the south pacific in New Zealand. I have to say that I could not put the book down aside from my travels. I found myself on the beach reading chapter after chapter I was very interested in the story that she told and the life she lived. I do not feel she trying to make $ well maybe, but I think she is a very confuzed sole lost in a world withouth love. Overall I give the book a B+.

Posted by: Michael Allen at February 15, 2004 09:38 PM

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