Lynda Milito, Mafia Wife
in the Press & Media
(see pictures below)

Wife's Life of Agony, The Big CRIME. Ordered Hit?
by Rod Gibson

How did they kill him?
Was it sudden?
Did he suffer?

In her book Mafia Wife, Lynda tells about how she and her husband Louie knew Sammy "The Bull" Gravano, sentenced to prison in Arizona for masterminding a drug ring. She claims Gravano ordered a hit on Louie and also helped John Gotti whack their boss, Paul Castellano, outside Sports restaurant. (left).
...he had possible had a hand in. After a mobster named Mickey the Mutt was found dead in the trunk of a car. Milito asked her hitman hubby what happened . She writes how he told her Mickey died of "an expedited overdose, plus he had two holes in the back of this head".
In june 1982, Frank Fiala, a cocaine dealer mixed up with kiddie porn, was shot in each eye and in the mouth by two men in the ski masks. Louie said of the killing that "even if the man went to hell, he would be blind and could never again get off on kiddie porn." reveals Milito.
Early in 1988, Milito and Louie seperated and he moved out. He called her March 8 of that year with news that he was having dinner with their daughter. He never made it - Louie disappeared that night.
Milito writes that she went to see Gravano, who denied having anything to do with her missing husband and gave her $5,000 in cash. Years later, the mobster told the FBI what happend to Louie. "The story goes, he was shot in a club in Bensonhurst, around 7 pm the night he and Deena were supposed to meet for dinner." writes Milito. He was putting sugar in this expresso when a guy called John carneglia put a bullet in the back of his head and nother under his chin. A doctor once told me he'd have felt nothing.
"An old friend of ours told me. "That's Sammy's M.O. Lynda," she explains in the book.....

Unhappily married to the mob MAFIA

Lynda Milito knows her missing Mafia husband Louie is dead, but she doesn’t know the details of his murder – and his body may never be found to reveal his fate. Day and night, I was haunted by the thoughts of Louie last moments. “Milito reveals in her riveting new book, “Mafia Wife” (HarperCollins). “How did they kill him? Was it sudden? Did he expect it? Did he suffer? Where did it happen? What did they do with his body?” In the thrilling page-turner, Milito tells all about her life as the wife of a Mafia-made man. She meet Louie in January 1964, when she was 17 years old. She admits she was anxious to move out of her home and get away from her bullying mother. Sometimes, Milito pleaded with Louie to put her out of her misery. There were many times later on when I wished I was dead and times I tried to kill myself, when I begged him to kill me.” She reveals in the book. One of Milito’s therapists told her co-author, “Her problem was that she thoughts she could get the rattlesnake and never get bitten. She always wanted to change that rattlesnake into a fluffy bunny. It doesn’t work”. Milito writes that she used to help Louie with non-violent crimes, such as breaking into pay phones, which often netted them $1,000 in four hours. They married in 1968 and had two kids, Deena in April 1968, and Louis in October 1975. Friends told Milito that Louie got “made” with the Gambino family in 1977, which means he had killed at least on person. Milito describes one morning at 4 a.m. at their large house in Staten Island, N.Y. “Louie didn’t call and he didn’t come home yet,” she writes. “ For all I know, he’s out shooting a guy in the back of the head – killing somebody he can’t meet to pay off a favor for somebody else he never met. This book is a revealing insight into the Mafia lifestyle. Milito writes that Louie and his fellow mobsters loved the movie The Godfather and he watched it “like six thousand times,” She says wise guys were immaculate dressers, the sharpest men around. It wasn’t like they show on The Sopranos, The men would never be as fat as Tony Soprano.” Milito writes that the one mobster she never really liked was Sammy “The Bull” Gravano, who later became John Gotti’s underboss after they assisinated their mob family boss, Paul Costellano. Gravano eventually spilled his guts to the FBI and he talked about many of the killings Louie was involved in. Sometimes, Lynda got hints from Louie about murders….

Married to the mob

by Sandy Naiman, Toronto Sun
Mafia Wife: My Story of Love, Murder, And Madness
By Lynda Milito
Harper/Collins

Lynda Milito had to wait 14 years after her "made man" Mafioso husband was "whacked" to write her memoir.

In Mafia Wife - My Story Of Love, Murder, And Madness she spills in gripping, often agonizing detail, not only why a "nice Jewish girl" from Brooklyn married an Italian thug bent on a life in organized crime, but how it almost killed her. Though it hasn't the sophistication of The Godfather or The Sopranos, this is an absorbing, myth-smashing tale of her visceral attraction to Louie Milito, a Jekyll-and-Hyde with more bravura than brains. He intoxicated her with his brains. He intoxicated her with his air of power and danger, addicting her with his passion and humor, to "the life.".
For 22 years, she lived with Louie's petty crimes and blood-stained fingers, through his countless prison stints, strictly adhering to a restrictive unwritten regimen for Mafia women. Born in 1947, Lynda was in trouble from the beginning. She remembers a bizarre household and feeling neglected to the point of abuse by her mother. Suffocating emotionally, Lynda chose the only escape route open to a pretty but naive 16-year old high-school dropout - marriage to a charismatic man who seemed capable of giving her the love she craved.

Their marriage was a dance of danger and deception. Turning a blind eye to Louie's illegal scams and ansavoury associates like Sammy Gravano, even an occasional burst of violence seemed a small price to pay for freedom. She tolerated his accelerating criminal activities and even colluded with him. Life on the edge was an exciting, risky, exhilarating adventure that paid off. It was all about money, she learned. Not loyalty, not honour. Only dirty money. They had two children. Deen and Louis, but their family life was constantly disrupted by nocturnal phone calls, coded messages and Louie's mysterious disappearances. Eventually, Lynda discovered he had taken the blood oath to join the notorious New York Gambino family. "Omerta" - silence - was a lesson she had to learn quickly, though she was never able to silence her conscience, and it began tearing her apart.
This book's intrigue is not only its story, but its perspective. it is a landmark female insider view, with more authenticity than insight, into how Mafia men live and die, and how their families survive. Initially, Lynda explores the psychology of how Louie Milito seduced her into "the life." but the story ultimately spirals into a litany of bloody murders, lies and betrayals as psychically numbing for the reader as it was for the writer. She wrote her memoir to exorcise Louie from her soul, but he's left his mark and she may never be able, mentally, to shake "the life." The prose is far from polished with its Brooklyn "woulda, coulda, shoulda" lift. But thanks to co-author Reg Potterton, her words jump off the page with an immediacy that makes this story riveting summer reading.

COURT TV interviews
Lynda Milito
Married to the Mob

Lynda Milito, author of "Mafia Wife,"
discusses her "family" life July 25, 2003

Court TV Host: Lynda Milito was the wife of Louie Milito, an alleged Gambino family capo who disappeared in 1988. In her new book, Mafia Wife: My Story of Love, Murder and Madness, Milito tells the story of her "family" life -- and blames her husband's murder on the people who were pledged to protect him. She was with Catherine Crier Live...and we're very pleased that she is joining us now!

Catherine Crier: Welcome, Ms. Milito...thanks for being our guest today.

Lynda Milito: Thank you for having me.

Catherine Crier: Anything you didn't get a chance to say on air that you'd like to begin by saying here?

Lynda Milito: I'd like to say I'm here to try and find my husband's body. My son about four months ago asked to put up a stone for his father, and I refused to put up a stone without something in the coffin to give back the respect that I feel his father Louie should have. I hope one of his friends will give the respect back to Louie and come forward and tell me where they put the body bag. If not, through a messenger, let me know. And that's my crusade, to get closure for my children before I die. I can honestly say that I am one of the last people to talk about the Castellano era, and to tell the truth, and nothing but the truth. There was the old regime, and then there was the new regime. As everybody knows, the old regime had morals. And those morals are what Louie stood for, and that's why Louie died.

Question from WHY: Why was your husband killed?

Lynda Milito: He was killed so that Sammy ["the Bull" Gravano] could go on with his thievery. Louie was the old regime, and did not believe in drugs, and would not allow drugs to be infiltrated in organized crime. And the only way that Sammy was able to do that was to kill Louie, because Louie was higher than Sammy. Louie was a made member before Sammy.

Question from mamaduke: Ms. Milito, when your husband was killed, were you taken care of by the "family"?

Lynda Milito: Absolutley not. That was the new regime coming up. And they never took care of anybody but themselves.

Question from Razzamatazz: Hey Lynda, it's Billy from Razzamatazz, what's up?

Lynda Milito: What's up? Buy my book, "Mafia Wife."

Question from Razzamatazz: Lynda, as an old friend I want an copy. BTW, has is you dad Louie?

Lynda Milito: My dad died. And the book is dedicated to my father.

Question from Dayton: Lynda, how do you know you are safe now?

Question from duke: How safe are you? Now, as opposed to before?

Lynda Milito: It's a brave man that dies once, it's a coward that dies many times. I need to find closure for my children; I'm dying inside until I find closure. I have to find Louie's body; I know Louie would want to find my body.

Question from Ace: Did you try reading Sammy "The Bulls" Biography, if I remember it said something about where the body might have been taken.

Lynda Milito: All they said was the body was put in a body bag and then in a trunk, and that was it. And I did read "Underboss," and it was total baloney from cover to cover, except for some things he said about Louie in chapter nineteen.

Question from sallie: What proof do you have it was Sammy's doing?

Question from Montana: Why do you feel Sammy killed your husband?

Lynda Milito: Sammy admitted in court that he claimed that somebody else killed him, but one of the soldiers in Louie's crew told me that Sammy's MO is one bullet in the temple, and the other bullet under the chin. And if you read in Sammy's book, that's exactly how Sammy said Louie was killed. I guess he was worried about finding the body.

Question from duke: Does you really think somebody will come forward? Is this why you're going public?

Lynda Milito: I really feel that somebody in their heart can't sleep at night.

Question from cheryl: Morals? Do you realize how ridiculous that word is while describing the mob?

Lynda Milito: Absolutely not true. Louie took an oath. Somewhat like a soldier. He joined whatever he joined, and it was his choice to join whatever he did. And that's what he did. When a soldier joins the army, this is what they do. On the other hand, when Louie saw a baby he'd kiss that baby. If he saw a veteran of foreign wars, he'd give him money. If he saw a stray animal on the street, he'd give food to that animal. Louie got into organized crime for the love of his mother. He did something to help out his mother, and he owed a favor, and owed a favor and owed a favor.

Question from who: Did Louie ever kill anyone?

Lynda Milito: That's how he became a made man. In order to become a made man, you gotta earn your stripes, and part of it is to become an assassin.

Question from Montana: What about John, Lynda. Do you think Gotti had anything to do with it?

Question from gizzard: What did you think of John Gotti?

Lynda Milito: I think John Gotti was manipulated by Sammy Gravano, and I don't think John had anything to do with it. I think it was all orchestrated by Sammy Gravano.

Question from Xzap: How could Ms. Milito NOT know her husband was involved w/the mafia?

Lynda Milito: When I married him, he was a hairdresser, he had nothing to do with the mafia. He had fathers of his friends that eventually became his close friends. These were wiseguys, old wiseguys, the old regime men. Men that Robert De Niro would play. Louie tended to lean towards these men, and eventually became close to these men. And he earned money for these men. What he did for his money made him solid with these men, because it proved how mature he was, to do what he did. I eventually will come out a sequel, and I'll tell what he did with these men, Louie was a victim of circumstance. Louie would do nothing to jeopardize his family. Sammy did to Louie what Louie would never do to his family.

Question from JohnDoe: What advice do you have for other wives involved in the mafia?

Catherine Crier: There are several times in the book, where you write about advising other wives to leave their husbands, or you point out other instances in which they did...

Lynda Milito: Women that are in my similar situation have to take a look at the situation from a window and if the glove don't fit, you must get out, okay? If the children are being affected, get out because those children will end up in jail. If Louie wasn't murdered, my kid would be in jail now. These kids don't deserve it, and their fathers don't want it for them either. I can only tell the women, I believe in therapists, talk to your sisters, talk to your brothers. I had no mother, no father, I had no one. I'm not here crying, I'm here to find Louie's body. I'm here to tell the truth about the new and old regime.

Question from Meg: Did your children know that your husband was in the mob?

Lynda Milito: Absolutely not. When my one child came home and said ma, I heard the word mafia. In the 70's, I'd tell them I never heard that word. I told my daughter, the government made up that word, I'd never heard that word in my house. I told her never to mention it again. I enrolled the kids in soccer, camp. I believed in keeping them in school. They knew nothing about organized crime.

Question from dook: Have your children ever been threatened?

Lynda Milito: No. Because they're loners, and they basically stay by themselves.

Question from wingit: Comparing a mobsters oath to that of a soldier -- you should be ashamed...

Lynda Milito: I'm sorry that you're offended. I have great respect for a soldier.

Question from gm: We're supposed to feel sorry for you now? Did you ever try to stop your husband's life of crime?

Lynda Milito: There was no way I could stop his life of crime. It was literally impossible. I once tried to go home to my mother, told I was being hit. She told me, you made your bed, you have to lay in it; I'll have no babies in my house. Back then, you had no shelters. Thanks to Nicole Simpson, we now have shelters.

Question from Xzap: Did your husband ever discuss mafia business with you?

Lynda Milito: On occasion, yes. It was mostly figures, his shylock business. If someone wouldn't pay, I'd discuss how he'd get his money back, and I'd tell him to use his head and not his hands. And he always listened. When I was growing up and enjoying my marriage, I didn't understand the process of 'being made'. I didn't understand that. When people would talk to me about it, I'd draw a blank, I'd say, "Are you crazy?" I'd blame it on being Jewish, I'd pretend I didn't know what they were talking about, I'd put up a wall. There was no door to go to. I had three brothers that were worse to go to. I had a mother worse than Joan Crawford and Bette Davis, so I had nobody to go to. Again, I say there were no shelters until Nicole Simpson. I was stuck And I'm a mother first. And I'll always be a mother first. I have to have closure, I have to put that stone up for my children. Because my Louie was gone, and I'm just bringing him out of hiding -- a bone or something. So they can talk to him. He was a good father to them . When they were teenagers, he just went out and disappeared off the face of the earth. And they should know what happened, that's all I want. So you see, I had no door to go out of. Did I ever ask Louie for a divorce? I sure did. Louie told me, the only divorce you're going to get, is in a box. And I'll tell your father you ran away with another man. And he'll be waiting for your phone call for the rest of his life. I just couldn't let my father wait.

Question from dook: Do you think his family is angry about this book? Or are they ok about it?

Lynda Milito: His family disowned us. They withdrew my children out of his mother and father's will. A nice way to lower children's self-esteem. They were just as much grandchildren as their children.

Question from Meg: How old are your children now? And, what do they think of all this?

Lynda Milito: They'd rather just stay out of it. I can't even discuss the book with them without arguments starting.

Question from mamaduke: Is a mobster wife's life anything like we watch on the Sopranos?

Lynda Milito: My life was full of everything -- I never waited in a line. I always got the best tables. I always got the best seats, but.. the sacrifice of going to sleep every day of my life and waking up every day of my life frightened of the next minute of my life, was just not worth it.

Catherine Crier: Thank you for being our guest today. Any closing thoughts?

Lynda Milito: Buy my book!

Howard Stern
Speaks with Lynda Milito

Mob Wife Lynda Milito Comes In. 8/7/03. 8:20am


Author Lynda Milito came in to talk about her book ''Mafia Wife : My Story of Love, Murder, and Madness.'' Howard said that Lynda was married to a mob guy and asked her what his name was. She said his name was Louie Milito. She said she didn't know at the time that he was going to be in the mob. He was a hair dresser when she met him. She went on to tell Howard about how he got himself into the mob. He was in the service and wanted out of the war so he went to the mob and they got him out of the service. After that Louie owed the mob a favor so that's when he got involved with the mob. You ask a favor you owe a favor.

Howard checked out the cover of her book and said she looks pretty hot. She said the picture is from when she was only 19. She said she had very low self esteem back then and didn't even know she was good looking. She also told Howard that she was sexually abused at the age of 10 and 15. She said she was raped by a family member at 10 by a cousin of her mother's brother daughter.

Gary told Howard that he read in her book that their first night together was kind of crazy. Lynda told Howard that she had a cough the first night they were together and Louie ended up making her sleep in the bathroom because he had to work the following day. She went on to tell Howard that Louie had to kill someone when he got into the mob, that's how he was a made man.

Howard asked Lynda how she knows where Jimmy Hoffa is buried. She said this is the first time she's telling this story. She said she and Louie had gotten into a fight and, for some reason, he told her he knew where Hoffa was buried. She said he pointed to a column on the Verrazano Bridge they were driving over and told her that he killed him and put him in that stanchion of the bridge. She said that's what Louie told her but he doesn't know if anything would be found there. She said Louie was a perfectionist and he may have covered up the killing very well. Lynda said she's not sure if Louie was lying to her but she can't imagine why he would have done that. Howard went over a few other things he read about her. Linda once saw Louie chop a guy\'s ear off with an axe. She told Howard that story and explained all of the details.

Robin asked Lynda when she found out that Louie was in the mob. She said she didn't know until about 2 years before he was killed. She said he never really liked to leave the house and kept all of his money away from them. She said she was selling real estate and made very good money herself.

Howard asked Linda about Louie's death and what happened there. She said she doesn't know where her husband is but she has heard things about Sammy 'The Bull' having him killed but he denied it when she asked him about it.

A caller told Lynda that she should keep her mouth shut about this stuff because what happens in the family should stay in the family. He wouldn't admit he was in the mob but yelled at Linda to keep her mouth shut. Another guy also called in and told Howard to get her off the air. He said that if she was a real woman she wouldn't be talking about this stuff. She said most women in the family are taken care of when their husbands are killed and her kids weren't taken care of. Another caller said that the Verrazano bridge was completed in 1964 and Jimmy Hoffa disappeared in 1974 so there's no way he'd be in the bridge. Linda said that's the story she was told so she doesn't know what happened exactly.

Howard gave Lynda a plug for the book again and said she'll be doing a book signing at Barnes and Nobel at 105 5th Ave. He spent a couple more minutes talking to her about her husband and taking phone calls. More people were calling in with information about Louie's death. A guy said that it was actually John Gotti who had Louie killed but Linda said that wasn't true. Another caller said he heard the same thing about Hoffa being buried in the bridge that Linda mentioned. Howard let a couple more guys through on the phones and then wrapped up the interview.

Howard said he was approached by a mob guy one time who asked him if he needed any favors. Howard said he never would have thought that this guy was in the mob. He explained the story about him telling him that if he ever needed a favor, he was the one to call. Howard said he would.

Howard went over a few other things he read about her. Lynda once saw Louie chop a guy's ear off with an axe. She told Howard that story and explained all of the details.

Robin asked Lynda when she found out that Louie was in the mob. She said she didn't know until about 2 years before he was killed. She said he never really liked to leave the house and kept all of his money away from them. She said she was selling real estate and made very good money herself.

Howard asked Lynda about Louie's death and what happened there. She said she doesn't know where her husband is but she has heard things about Sammy ''The Bull'' having him killed but he denied it when she asked him about it.

A caller told Lynda that she should keep her mouth shut about this stuff because what happens in the family should stay in the family. He wouldn't admit he was in the mob but yelled at Lynda to keep her mouth shut. Another guy also called in and told Howard to get her off the air. He said that if she was a real woman she wouldn't be talking about this stuff. She said most women in the family are taken care of when their husbands are killed and her kids weren't taken care of. Another caller said that the Verrazano bridge was completed in 1964 and Jimmy Hoffa disappeared in 1975 so there's no way he'd be in the bridge. Lynda said that's the story she was told so she doesn't know what happened exactly.

Howard gave Lynda a plug for the book again and said she'll be doing a book signing at Barnes and Nobel at 105 5th Ave. He spent a couple more minutes talking to her about her husband and taking phone calls.
More people were calling in with information about Louie's death. A guy said that it was actually John Gotti who had Louie killed but Lynda said that wasn't true.

Another caller said he heard the same thing about Hoffa being buried in the bridge that Lynda mentioned.

Howard let a couple more guys through on the phones and then wrapped up the interview.

Howard said he was approached by a mob guy one time who asked him if he needed any favors.
Howard said he never would have thought that this guy was in the mob. He explained the story about him telling him that if he ever needed a favor, he was the one to call. Howard said he would.

CNN Inteviews Lynda Milito

CNN LIVE TODAY

Interview With Mafia Wife Lynda Milito

Aired June 5, 2003 - 10:33   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

LEON HARRIS, CNN ANCHOR: Wedding vows typically contain promises of love and honor. But for Lynda Milito, fear was also a cornerstone of her 22-year marriage. She says her husband, Louie, was a Mafia captain. She, a Mafia wife, and now she's an author, telling it all in her new book describing what she calls a story of love, murder, and madness. Lynda joins us now from our New York bureau.

Lynda Milito, thank you very much for coming out and talking with us this morning. Let me ask you, first off, how big a risk are you taking in coming out and telling this story right now in a book?

LYNDA MILITO, AUTHOR, "MAFIA WIFE": I feel no risk. I'm telling the truth, I'm there to speak the truth, and there is no risk. All the men that my husband knew are either dead or in jail.

HARRIS: So you don't fear for your life in coming out and telling these stories?

MILITO: Absolutely not.

HARRIS: So, are you naming names, then?

MILITO: Well, to be very honest with you, some of the names are changed, and some of the names are right.

HARRIS: So you do have some fear still if you're changing names?

MILITO: No, I guess that would be because for libel reasons, but I have no fear.

HARRIS: All right. Well, let's talk about your life and about your husband, Louie. Was Louie in the mob when you married him, or is that something that happened after you married him?

MILITO: He was not in the mob when I married him. He went into the mob for the love of his mother. He did a favor for his brother, and he wound up owing a favor.

HARRIS: And so when he did it, what happened with your relationship?

MILITO: Well, honestly, I didn't know anything about it. Back then, the Mafia was just the Mafia. We just didn't -- I mean, we didn't even pay attention to that word. When my children would ask me, Ma, what is the Mafia? I would say, It's nothing. I don't know what it is. It's a made-up word. HARRIS: So, was your husband a murderer? Did your husband actually kill people?

MILITO: My husband was a made man, which -- yes, he certainly did.

HARRIS: Did he talk to you about these sort of things?

MILITO: Not the murders. I would have to put two and two together by finding out through telephone conversations and hearing it. But I only made -- I only realized this maybe about two or three years before he was murdered.

HARRIS: Yes, and two of people that you do mention that your husband -- that he worked with or for, was John Gotti and Sammy the Bull Gravano. He worked with them, or for them?

MILITO: No, he worked with them. Louie never worked for anybody.

HARRIS: And from what I understand, you're not very complementary of Sammy in this book.

MILITO: Not at all. Sammy's a liar. But I don't -- he's proving it with his background and being in and out of prison, putting his two children in jeopardy, his wife in jeopardy, and just -- he's a real terrible person, which I knew from the very, very beginning.

HARRIS: Well, it's easier to say that now that he's in jail. I guess he is going to be locked up for some 19 years or so now.

MILITO: Right.

HARRIS: A lot of people who have been watching "The Sopranos" on HBO, turned that into a blockbuster, I want to know from you directly how realistic is the life that's portrayed in that series? Is that what your life was like?

MILITO: It's almost a carbon copy of my life. The only thing is I was treated a little differently. I was treated like -- harder, stronger. I never saw Tony Soprano hit Carmella. So I was treated a little bit harder. Maybe it was because of his ways. I don't know. But it's a carbon copy.

HARRIS: Now, you also say, though, that the mob life is not necessarily, at least the current mob life is not about honor and some of these pacts that are mythologized about the mob. You say it's all about money now?

MILITO: Well, now it is. Years ago, there was respect and honor. When there was Castellano and Gambino and Neal Delagrosh (ph) and all those older gentlemen, that was the older regime that Louie -- Louie followed that regime. He did not follow Sammy's regime.

HARRIS: And by following that, he provided you a pretty good lifestyle. How concerned are you that your family members, like your son, may actually follow that lifestyle as well?

MILITO: Absolutely not. No, my son will not. No. Sorry.

HARRIS: All right. Well, I am glad you are that confident about that.

MILITO: I'm a pretty tough mother.

HARRIS: You sound like one, I can tell you that.

MILITO: I am.

HARRIS: Lynda Milito, thank you very much for coming out and sharing your story.

MILITO: No, thank you for having me.

HARRIS: There's the book there "Mafia Wife: My Story of Love, Murder, and Madness."

MILITO: It's a great book. It is a great book.

HARRIS: Thank you very much. Good luck to you. Take care.

MILITO: Thank you.

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